Spectrewoods is a game that you can play with your friends online. It’s a competitive puzzle-platformer where players must use their abilities to traverse the world and collect as many points as possible.
Spectrewoods is a game that was released on the PlayStation 4. This review will go over what I thought about the game, and how well it played.
I’m curious how Spectrewoods came to be after reading about the difficulties some indie developers have when attempting to get a PlayStation 4 development kit. On the dark, dreary depths of the PSN shop, terrible games abound, but this one stands out. I’m not sure whether this is the laziest effort at creating a game since My Name Is Mayo, or just an artistic endeavor that failed in the most humiliating of ways.
This is referred to as a “cutscene” by Spectrewoods.
Spectrewoods is allegedly a walking simulator set just before some schmuck was going to marry another schmuck in front of a priest, according to its PSN shop page. It’s difficult to pay attention to what’s going on in the game since, for starters, it only lasts five minutes. If you know what you’re doing (which you won’t), you could get away with three. Second, apart from some horribly compressed gunshot noises, there is no conversation, text, or pretty much any sort of sound effect in the game. Finally, there’s the problem with the way it’s presented. The presentation, my lord…
This review’s photos do not do Spectrewoods credit. Describe refer to this game as “ugly” is a disservice to other awful games I’ve played over the years. The strange thing is that Spectrewoods isn’t an asset resale. I’m pretty sure all (or at least a half-dozen) assets in this game were created in-house. The issue is that they are among the most aesthetically repulsive things I’ve ever seen in a video game. When I claim that there are beginner Dreams games that look better than Spectrewoods, I am not exaggerating. I should also mention that there are a lot of beginner games on Dreams that last a long time.
I’m grateful for the game’s tiny aspect ratio. Even just looking at it is excruciating.
Three stages make up the whole of the game. In the first two, you may have to shoot a few ghosts and follow a trail of flowers to a portal. The controls work, and I’ll give credit where credit is due. You can really fire at the targets you’ve been given. If you’re a masochist, you can even move the camera around using the DualShock 4’s trackpad, since the programming is awful.
The last level is just a few seconds long and consists entirely of a cutscene. In only a few minutes, you’ll be able to install, play, and platinum Spectrewoods. Was the fifty cents I was asked for at the PSN shop worth it? Certainly not. If you believe this review is a little too brief and ambiguous, consider this: it’s just five minutes long. You’ll have a hard time talking about it for more than a few minutes.
In Spectrewoods, you’ll only encounter one kind of opponent.
I could overlook the presence of Spectrewoods if it were a tech demo, a free title, or standard Steam shovelware, but this is a PlayStation 4 product that is being sold for real money. It’s a commercial product, and one that’s really awful. If you’re eager for yet another platinum trophy and don’t mind sacrificing the quality of the end result, go for it; you’ll squander three minutes of your life collecting all of its awards. You may also play it to laugh at its ineptness, although given the game’s short duration, your laughter will last far longer than the time it takes to beat it.
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Calling Spectrewoods an ugly game is a disservice to other awful games out there, since it went to great lengths to make itself as unattractive as the human eye can bear. |
It theoretically works, but owing to the short duration and lack of real stuff to do, you’ll only utilize a handful of the few gameplay components available to you. |
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A highly compressed gun shot may sometimes be heard. If you’re wounded, you may also hear a compressed scream. That’s all there is to Spectrewoods. |
Are you looking for a platinum trophy? You’ll get one in approximately three minutes if you go for it. Do you like to have a good chuckle at some very bad graphics and gameplay mechanics? You may do that as well, but your laughing will endure longer than the duration of the game. |
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Final Score: 1.0 |
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The PS4 version of Spectrewoods is now available.
PS4 was used for this review.
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